Last Day of February...

As the morning of day starts I am starting to look back on this short month and all the ups and downs I faced in a short little time.  But day starts a new project and a new sense of hope is coming. I am hoping that as one month ends and other begins that the downs that I have had comes to a end and it starts to look up for here.  I have some goals for the next month to try and get done...

• Get Mot's house cleaned out and move in...
• Work on my relationship troubles
• Push towards having the money to get moved in, fixed up, new phone, etc...
• Start planning something for my 21st birthday with the man I love
• Make sure things are going good with us by the end of next month 

                                      (ALL WITH GOD'S AMAZING HELP!!!)

So as I work to get all my goals done I am going to start blogging more.  It seem to help me a lot more when I did cause I could just right and get it all laid out there.  Get everything off my mind and it help clean some things up for me as well. 
I am just hoping everything with work out.  But I know that all of this is in God's time not mine!!!

Eyes Wide Open

If there is one thing that I want more than anything in this world it would be to be with my best friend for the rest of my life.  To have a thousand of life times with him.  For every moment of time from here to entirety I would have the one man I love more than anything in this world. 
Tonight I saw how much I love and care for him.  Tonight for the first time in a long time I felt like everything was the way it was to be.  I love him with everything inside of me.  I am so thankful that a little less than a year and half ago this amazing man walked into my life and made the world a better place to live in.

Tonight we had just amazing night like we use to on Friday night when he would work.  I went and met up with him at the shop.  We went out for a quick dinner on his lunch break.  We got to have some time together just us to like we use to.  Talking and laughing at each other which haven't been done in a long time.  But I am not counting my blessing to soon because all of this amazing stuff could change in a blink of an eye. 
Tomorrow we have Grandma Holbrooks funeral at 2.  So be praying for Jesse, Joy, Missy and all of his amazing family that I have fell in love with and felt apart of.  After the funeral we are heading to Atlanta to get his bumper measured for his bumper he is having made.  I am praying that everything will go just as amazing as it did tonight.  So I am going to turn the light out and head to bed have to be up at 6 in the morning.  Be saying a little prayer for us.
Love
Kenz<3

Sweet Little Memories

Winds blow against my window and I rolled over to hold him tight and I just had to keep reaching cause he wasn't there.  The past month has had so many ups and downs I can't believe that I have had to wake up with him not next to me.  Yea we are still together but I haven't gotten to sleep beside him in a month.  He has held me in my sleep for a month.  If I only knew that the last time we got to dream beside each other would have been our last for a long time I would have prayed that time would have stopped.  That the night on the floor would go on forever and would never come to an end.  I miss having him beside me.  I wish that I could open my eyes and this really bad dream would come to an end.  I feel like I have been suck in hell for a  month and there has been nothing to stop it.  I am so afraid of losing my best friend, my love, my soul, my everything.  I miss the way things were and I pray everyday and every hour of the day that goes by things would go back and heal itself.  I can't sleep at night and can't eat and feel like my world will soon come to an end if I lose him.  I truly can go through all these feelings again.  I have been here, done it, bought the ugly tshirt, and wore it out.  I am ready for my life to go back to the good and the way it was and things to heal.  I miss that way and I truly don't know how to get it back especially with everything going on around me.  I just want my life to be better and to be able to hold him once again.  I miss him and I love him more than anything right now.  God I pray that things will get better soon.  I can't lose my best friend over something like this.  I love him and need to be with him for the rest of my life.