Sweet Little Memories

Winds blow against my window and I rolled over to hold him tight and I just had to keep reaching cause he wasn't there.  The past month has had so many ups and downs I can't believe that I have had to wake up with him not next to me.  Yea we are still together but I haven't gotten to sleep beside him in a month.  He has held me in my sleep for a month.  If I only knew that the last time we got to dream beside each other would have been our last for a long time I would have prayed that time would have stopped.  That the night on the floor would go on forever and would never come to an end.  I miss having him beside me.  I wish that I could open my eyes and this really bad dream would come to an end.  I feel like I have been suck in hell for a  month and there has been nothing to stop it.  I am so afraid of losing my best friend, my love, my soul, my everything.  I miss the way things were and I pray everyday and every hour of the day that goes by things would go back and heal itself.  I can't sleep at night and can't eat and feel like my world will soon come to an end if I lose him.  I truly can go through all these feelings again.  I have been here, done it, bought the ugly tshirt, and wore it out.  I am ready for my life to go back to the good and the way it was and things to heal.  I miss that way and I truly don't know how to get it back especially with everything going on around me.  I just want my life to be better and to be able to hold him once again.  I miss him and I love him more than anything right now.  God I pray that things will get better soon.  I can't lose my best friend over something like this.  I love him and need to be with him for the rest of my life.