Ending of a Year!!!

While as the year comes to a final end.  I feel like I have totally lost touch with my blog.  So much has been going on laterly I really haven't had time to write anything.  But I figured while I sit at work I could try and get a quick update in.

Things with Jesse and I have been up and down since September and I feel like things have finally come to a point to where I feel wierd almost.  I feel like everything with soon fall into place and the dreams I have dreamed for a long time with finally come to a end.

I cannot wait to start another amazing year with Jesse and begin everything that needs to be started.  I am working and trying to get school going as well.  I really hope this spring goes amazingly well. 

Ok quick catch up from fall...

      *Jesse and I where together for two years.

      * Took off to Columbia and saw Carolina Clemson Game

      * Clemson won the ACC!!!

     * Finally got the living room painted but not completely done with the house.

And Christmas...

     Well Christmas was great.  I pretty much got everything I asked for.  Jesse brought me a new Camera and I am in love with it.  I got what I wanted from Mama and Daddy and had an amazing time with Jesse's family. 

     But I think the best gift I got was the fact things between me and Jesse are like they were the first time we were together.   I feel like I am faling in love with the one person I have always wanted.  I truly don't know what to do or how to act.  I am just thanking God that He has seem to brought us back to where we started.

Plans for the New Year are still not set and hopefully they will be ready by the weekend.  I hope everyone had a great Christmas and pictures are soon to follow.  Once I am not at work....

Kenzie

Finally Fall!!!

FALL...... The leaves fall, the wind blows, and the farm country slowly changes from the summer cottons into its winter wools.

  My favorite time of the year is finally here.  The cool air blowing around all day, to football games on Saturdays.  Where there is bonfires on those nights with some warm pumkin spice lattes and so much more.
I look forward to this time of the year and when it is finally here I truly don't want it to change. 

     The season has pretty much started off right with my Clemson Tigers winning all of the first five games.  Making ACC and School history by beating three Top 25 teams in a row.  We are 5-0, 2-0 in the ACC and rated number 8 in the AP Coach's Poll at the start of the 6th week of football season and coming home to host Boston College this coming Saturday in the most ever so beautiful Death Valley at 3:30.  It makes me nervous to know my Tigers will be stepping out on the field undefeated with BC coming into town.  (Just a little remember of one of the reason why all of this is so happy and good for me is we beat Auburn and Carolina lost last night to them)  Goooo Tigers!!!

     I am trying to come up with some little cute ideas for making the house look more like fall.  I am hoping to get some orange and leaves stuff for my front door.  Then of course when it gets closer to Halloween I am hoping to fix a pumpkin up for the front step at the house. 

    Then I am trying to come up with a cheap weekend getaway for me and Jess before our big trip to Columbia at the end of November (Going to watch some Clemson Carolina game for our big 2 year Anny).  I would love to take a trip to the mountains but everything is so costly right now and I know Jesse most likely would not go for it.  So I am looking for something fun to do.

     I was hoping to get the house done better Christmas but I don't know how close that will be.  Still have a lot of things going on and can't get everything right now.  Between going back to school and everything there is just no time in the day.

     I am thinking about getting my mama to write up the receipe for her chicken and dressing in a crock pot, and hopefully some of her could ole cooking you know for the fall weather so hopefully I can cook some good dinner one night. 

     Since I love the fall and the fall weather plus food I am going to try and blog almost everyday posting something with the fall season...
          I found this easy homemade Pumpkin Spice Latte.  Hopefuly it is good I am hoping to try it out one night this week.

Pumpkin Spice Latte (Vegan, Gluten Free)

1. Make coffee (a pot, a cup, in whatever fashion and however you prefer making your coffee.   The stronger the better)

2. Make Pumpkin Milk

1 c milk (I used almond milk but use any kind you want from half and half to rice milk)

1/4 heaping cup pumpkin puree (more if you really love pumpkin)

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice blend, or to taste

1 tsp cinnamon, or to taste

1 tsp vanilla extract

sweetener of choice, to taste (I suggest 2 tbsp agave or 2 tbsp brown sugar or a pinch of stevia to taste; or try honey, maple syrup, etc. to taste)

Optional: pinch of ground nutmeg, ginger, garam masala, cardamom, or other warming spices to taste

Directions: Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and whisk well by hand or blend all ingredients using a Vita or blender

Optional: Warm the finished pumpkin milk mixture in the microwave or on the stovetop (I do a quick nuke of about 1 minute)

3. Pour 1 c of brewed coffee into a mug and pour half the pumpkin milk mixture over the top of the coffee and enjoy.  (Optional: Finish by garnishing with real whipped cream/whipped topping such as CoolWhip or TruWhip; and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice/cinnamon on top)

The other half of the pumpkin milk mixture is for the refill you know you will want.  If you truly don’t want a refill, refrigerate it for up to a few days and use for your next latte, in a smoothie, or drink it as is.  As long as you’re dirtying dishes, I always make a little extra for refills or for later.

Notes:

The spices will not “blend” or entirely dissolve.  This is to be expected and normal.  If this bothers you, this may not the recipe for you and you may want to experiment with other recipes or techniques.

All spices and seasonings are to taste; in this case, mine.  If you want to reduce the spices (or increase them), obviously adjust everything according to your own taste preferences.  Some people may find the amounts I used a bit strong, but I like robust flavors.

I have some pics finally from mine and Jesse beach trip to Mrytle Beach!!!



Hopes and Dream Photography...
Jesse and McKenzie 2011



Hopes and Dreams Photography...

Hopes and Dreams Photography...
This one is my favorite out of all of them!!!

 

Hopes and Dreams Photography...
Jesse and the only two people who will ever love him more than anything!!!

 

 

 

Hopes and Dreams Photography...
This is truly how we are most of the time

 

 

Hopes and Dreams Photography...
Love this pic of me

 

What we did on the main strip Downtown Myrtle Beach...
(Watch Carolina play Georgia outside the Landshark Bar and Grill)

 

The TV!!!

 

Watching the game...

 

 

The Sky Wheel

 

Our Classroom and work for the week...

 

 

If this was just every morning

 

Feeding the fish at The Bass Pro Shop

 

 

The chair Jesse thinks he is going to have in our living room one day!!!
(Yea well he can think twice about that one)

 

Playing Putt Putt

 

 

Myrtle Beach 2011

 

The shark someone fishing in...
(I got to touch it and then it turned my head to my toes and I went running)

 

 

 

Yep normal....

 

 

My future Mother-In-Law and Aunt
Plus My great photographers (Hopes and Dreams Photography)...
(They are taking appts. if you want your pics done let me know

 

 

Jesse's Hot Now Sign and Hat....
Joy, Missie, and I had to get him to even take us there!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Labor Day Holiday

Had to post some pics from the past few monthes

dc

So with it being Labor Day it is great that I am starting it off sitting at work. But just three more hours and I get to enjoy the day with Jess. Things have truly been going great and in one week I will be sitting at the beach with Jesse. Yay now just working on getting things up and ready to take off. well guys I will posted so later today just wanted to drop by while I had a second kenz

New starts just starting!!!

Well of course almost another month or two has gone by and I have not took the time to sit and blog.  So with everything that is starting to happen and coming to change I am sitting the goal right here and now to take it on and start blogging more.  To even to just start writing the little stuff down.  With the new starts that are going on right now, I truly don't want to miss a single thing.  They are truly going to be life difference to start and I don't want to leave anything out.

(But there are something I cannot tell just right now and will have to blog about them as they happen)

First, Monday was the first day of classes for me.  God I think I was so nervous I could hardly move or even think straight.  I mean after trying or so what trying (if that is what they even call it) more than three times now.  You truly get a little worried if it is ever going to happen or if anything is ever going to come of all the money that is being put into me trying to get a degree.  But lets just say I lived to make it through Monday and Wednesday classes of this week and only what feels like forever to go left of this fall courses.  Just eye on the price December 5.  I have looking at it this way I have to take one class at a time and cannot look at the big picture just yet, I will get down and discouraged and I don't need to do that at all this time.

Also Jesse started back school as well but his classes are on Tuesday and Thursday.  He seemed to really like it and I am so glad. I was so worried about him it even got me neurvous (yes I was more neurvous than he even was on Tuesday.  But like I said him seemed to really enjoy it and seems to be really excitied about going back.  I am just so proud of him that he is putting his mind to doing something.  Plus the great thing is that this is something that will help both our futures out and give us the best future there could be out there.

Which brings me to some great news about Jesse and me.  I know the  last timed I blogged we were not doing to well and things were not looking to hot in our future front.  Well in the pass two weeks going on three, life between us has truly become the life I had wanted and dreamed of.  The amazing thing he is doing and acting.  Things have really turned around.  I truly know God is working His amazing magic in our lives and the best thing is it is for the better of our relationship.  But I keep praying everyday that the happenings that have been happening between the two of us will stay and grow in away that I have never dreamed of before.

So back to just what else that has been going on... Well I am still working like an idiot (that is where I am at as I sit here very tired because of no sleep)  and Jesse also went back onto first shift which has been working ok just a lot of getting use to the early morning hours.  I am still working on my house and little by little it is slowly coming along. 

I got to take a short beach trip to the most wonderful place on earth Destin, Florida with my family.  I had an amazing time and so wish I just could live down there full time and never have to work a day in my life.

Also in a few short weeks Jess and I have our trip to the beach together and I truly can not wait.

Well I am going to run and finish up work for the day and hope blog some more later

Kenz

Hey Yall!!!

So I am so sorry that I haven't posted in so long.  I really truly don't know where this month has gone. I have truly been working like a mad dog at work and of course I am here again tonight. 

The work in the house is coming a long and hopefully by the end of next week things will be coming more to order that it is right now.  We still have the kitchen to paint and clean from top to bottom.  Plus the living room is in need of some major overhall and that is going to take a big part to do.  But with me working and starting back school at the end of August.  There is really no time or the funds to do all that I want to do right now. 

Things with Jess, have still been up in the air and I truly don't know how to act or do anymore.  The trying is getting harder everyday and when things to look like that are going to get a little better and I speak about it or even think about it for that matter it turns right around and goes south.  I truly don't have any idea or clue how to make anything better.  Every day is a new day and nothing is the same.

Ok back to a lighter better subject....

Summer is almost half way over and to be it feels like it never started.  I have truly been wanting to go on a vacation or a weekend trip or even just a little day trip.  But of course there is nothing to do in this little town.

This weekend is the Fourth of July. Truly have nothing planned and really don't know what I am going to do.  I want to spend the weekend with Jesse since both of us are off for the holiday weekend.

Hopefully time with not get away from me so much and I can post something soon...

Kenz

Try...

Try: To make an effort to do or accomplish (something); attempt.

Everyday someone out there is trying.  Trying to do something, to accomplish something.  We try everyday and get up in the mornings.  Usually we accomplish something in a day that we try to do. 
Well lately it is feeling like I am doing a whole lot of trying with a little accomplishment.  I am getting to the point where I am tired of it.  Tired of being the only one trying.  I don't know how much more I can try.  The push towards the goals is getting longer instead of shorter.  Everyday is becoming a battle of will.  A battle at being the one.  Is it getting close to waving the white flag and putting away all will to work to reach the goal.  When two people have come so far, has work so hard to fight to give love to each other.  Where do you draw the line at when there is only one person trying at it.  Where do you put your foot down and learn that trying is just becoming to much to handle anymore.  That you trying will never be good enough to win the battle.  Where does all of this stuff just stop and you say enough is enough. 

Loving: to have love or affection for.

We do this everyday.  Love.  A four letter word that makes the world goes around it seems like.  But love is sometimes never enough it seems like.  I wish with everything in me that love could just fix everything.  That loving someone would just be enough for once.  But it feels like it ain't.  That no matter how hard you try to love someone that your try is not enough.  That your feel and affection is not what they want.

Relationship: A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other

We have all kinds of relationships.  Friends, family, and once we have that relationship with the love of our lives we are hooked.  To have that relationship with that soul mate is everything.  But what if that relationship that we thought we had with that soul mate was falling apart.  What do you do then.  That relationship that you are fighting like hell to keep together, the one you are praying for every secon of everyday.  How to do stop that relationship from falling apart, from becoming something a thing of the past.  When all you want is the true future.

I am hoping for some answers to these questions.  To know that the trying and the fighting is not going to be for nothing.  That what we had that was so amazing just two years ago has not been lost forever.  To know that the love we had is right there and can be so amazing once more.

Kenz

Hot June!!!

Hey guys!!!  So I am sitting at work and starting thinking about how I haven't blogged anything in a while.  I thought I would try and catch up on everything that has been going on lately. 
The past two weeks have been crazy.  Two weekends ago my little cousin Jacob graduated from high school in Georgia.  It is truly hard to believe that he is even old enough to gratuate.  It seems like just yesterday he was little.  Of course I cried at graduation.  He was second in his class so he got to make his speech which was amazing!!!  That weekend we ended up staying in a hotel because Nise's was so busy.  Which we had a great time together!!! 
That Monday was Memorial Day and the first time Jesse was off with me in like a month it felt like.  Monday was a pretty chilled day we really didn't do anything special because it was so hot.
So the next week I pretty much worked my butt off like I normally do.  Until last Wednesday I ended up in the hospital in Greenville in ICU.  My blood sugar got so high and I went into DKA.  I spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in the hospital.  But I am feeling ten times better now.  My blood sugar is back down and getting under control!!!
This weekend was busy as well.  Jesse got the weekend off again which is surpising.  We spent the time together just relaxing and working on a new project.  This beautiful little chair for me.  That Jesse sanded down and redid it.  We still are not done but hopefully it will be done this coming weekend.

So now that I pretty much filled yall in on everything.  I am going to run back to work.  I will try and post something later.

Kenz <3

I'm gonna wear you down
I'm gonna make you see
I'm gonna get to you
You're gonna give into me
I'm gonna start a fire
You're gonna feel the heat
I'm gonna burn for you
You're gonna melt for me

Come on, come on
Into my arms
Come on, come on
Give into me

You're gonna take my hand
Whisper the sweetest words
And if you're ever sad
I'll make you laugh
I'll chase the hurt
My heart is set on you
I don't want no one else
And if you don't want me
I guess I'll be all by myself

Come on, come on
Into my arms
Come on, come on
Give into me

I'll use my eyes to draw you in
Until I'm under your skin
I'll use my lips, I'll use my arms

Come on, come on, come on
Give into me
Give into me
Give into me

Jesse,

The past two years of my life have been the best ever.  I truly could never ask for anything better.  You have given me so much and we have been though so much.  I am so grateful that you have allowed me to share all of the things we have share together.  You are the light of my life. I love you will all my heart baby.

I Love You,

Thousand of Hugs and Billions of Kisses,

Kenzie <3

Wonderful Weekend to a Wild Monday

Hey yall!!!
How is everyone.  I can't believe that it is already Monday night at 11:30.  It seems like just yesterday was Friday afternoon.  I swear time is flying by.
This weekend was so busy but was well spent.  Of course I worked 5 center on Thursday night but I got off at 6 so I could get ready for an interview that I had and so I could take Chan to school Friday morning for mama. My interview was for a job as a nursing assistant in Sencea.  After that I ended up going and picking up Anna from school so we could have a girls day together.  We wented up eating lunch with her mom Robin at Firehouse Subs in Easley.  After eating our good lunch.  Anna and I had our toes done.  Which no one knows how amazing that is to me.  I don't get it done but about every six monthes but when I do I love it.  So our toes were done for the weekend.  After that we got Anna's golf clubs and headed out to Smithfields. Wow the memories that come back.  I really found out how much I missed playing golf.  (Of course I had to hit a few balls with Anna's clubs).  So Anna and I have said that we are going to stay playing together during the summer.  Which makes me really excited and I truly can't wait.  Well after Smithfields and having to wash my feet off in the parking lot, we went to Wal-mart and got stuff to make home made pizza and to highlight my hair.  Both things turned out really good.  The pizza tasted really good and my hair looks really good.  By the end of the night I was getting really sleepy and was falling asleep while Anna was doing my hair.  But can you blame me I had been up for 36 hours by that time of the night.  Well finally her and I made our way to bed. 
Saturday, was again another great day.  We ended up at the Greenville mall just walking around killing time.  Anna got to live my broke life for a little while LOL.  Then we met up with her family and some friend at the Liberty Tap Room to eat dinner.  We had a wonderful time.  That night I stayed there again.  But the good thing was we stayed went to bed at a better time than Friday night.
Sunday morning was amazing morning.  I got up at Anna's and got dressed and headed over to Jesse's like every Sunday.  Just our time together, words cannot explain how amazing it is to get to spend that morning with him.  The time is perfect and I truly could not asked for me.  So anyways, our day pretty much was that morning after finally waking Sleep Beauty up we went to Walmart (our weekly trip lol), Had lunch a CiCi's Pizza in Easley, Went shopping around, and then ended up on the front swing out at Jesse's Grandma's house.  Finally making it to BiLo and him cooking me dinner.
Like I said I have had a truly wonderful weekend.  Now I am back at work where all the crazies are out.  I am truly ready for a vacation.  Which I think I am going to get one at the end of the month.  With Jake's Graduation on Friday, Party on Saturday then break on Sunday, and hopefully Carowinds on Monday with Jesse. I don't know yet but I will keep yall updated.
Maybe I can post something later tonight but I am going to get back to work.

Kenzie <3

Work Day Wednesday

Hey everyone, hope yall's day is going wonderful for this beautiful Wednesday.  Of course I am at work like I normal am.

So with the weather getting even closer to bathing suit season.  I am hoping to be in good shape for all of that so between moving and working hopefully things will work out the way they should.

Well just wanted to drop a little line have to return to work.  Hopefully post some more later if I have time

Kenzie

Long Time No Up Day!!!

Wow looking back at the post it has been several months that I have not posted anything.  So now I am sitting at work and thought I would take some time and updated this thing.
It has been a very weird few months.  I have finally started moving in Mot's house and I never knew it would be such hard work trying to get a house fixed the way that you want it.  I have almost got my bathroom done and I am working on my bedroom now.  Been trying to get everything for my room at my parents moved over there.  I wish I could truly blink my eyes and it all be done.
I am trying to find a red sofa to get for my living room.  I founded one at Big Lots a couple of months ago but they don't seem to have it again.  It is stressing me out cause I had this whole plan that it involved this red sofa.  But we have a lot of thing that we are selling so if you are looking for something kitchen, bedroom, dinning or living room let me know I have tons of stuff.
But I am excited abut getting everything painted though...
     Bathroom: White and Lime Green
     Bedroom: Sea Blue and White with Cherrywood
     Kitchen: Burnt Orange with shades of green, sea blue, reds, and brown
     Living Room: Carmel, Red, and Chocolate Brown
I am just ready for everything to get right.
Of course the 24th of April was my birthday!!! I had a truly wonderful weekend.  Friday I had date night with Jesse.  He took me shopping for more clothes.  After that we went to eat a great mexican place in Greenville.  Then Saturday we went fishing on the river off Highway 11 up in the mountains.  Fishing is not my favorite thing to do but I had a lot of fun with Jesse.  That morning we stopped and brought us a drink to take with us.  Well after about a few hours of not catching anything I was getting bored and was ready to go.  That is when I got the biggest laugh I had all day,  Jesse fell into the river.  Needless to say he drove us home in his underwear that afternoon.  After getting home we took a nap on the couch like we do almost everyday.  Then that night we went shopping in the Old Navy outlets in Anderson and then met up with my parents, sister and Aunt Mot for dinner at Outback.  Then Sunday my birthday (which happened to be Easter Sunday as well) We went to church that morning,  Had a truly amazing service.  Then we went and ated out at Grandma Dover's house.  But after night service that night Joy got a cake and some ice cream to have for my birthday.  Of course I had a wonderful birthday weekend that still didnt end then.  Monday my parents took me out to Olive Garden to eat and enjoy being 21.  I truly had an amazing time.
So now it brings me back to just working a trying to get everything worked out with the house.  As you can see I have been so busy and my life is sure not slowing down anything soon. 
Plus I am hoping to at least take two or three classes the fall on-line of course so I can still work my 40 plus hours a week.  So that is something that is coming up soon.
I am going to try and keep more update with this thing and hope for some good stories to come.

Kenzie

Last Day of February...

As the morning of day starts I am starting to look back on this short month and all the ups and downs I faced in a short little time.  But day starts a new project and a new sense of hope is coming. I am hoping that as one month ends and other begins that the downs that I have had comes to a end and it starts to look up for here.  I have some goals for the next month to try and get done...

• Get Mot's house cleaned out and move in...
• Work on my relationship troubles
• Push towards having the money to get moved in, fixed up, new phone, etc...
• Start planning something for my 21st birthday with the man I love
• Make sure things are going good with us by the end of next month 

                                      (ALL WITH GOD'S AMAZING HELP!!!)

So as I work to get all my goals done I am going to start blogging more.  It seem to help me a lot more when I did cause I could just right and get it all laid out there.  Get everything off my mind and it help clean some things up for me as well. 
I am just hoping everything with work out.  But I know that all of this is in God's time not mine!!!

Eyes Wide Open

If there is one thing that I want more than anything in this world it would be to be with my best friend for the rest of my life.  To have a thousand of life times with him.  For every moment of time from here to entirety I would have the one man I love more than anything in this world. 
Tonight I saw how much I love and care for him.  Tonight for the first time in a long time I felt like everything was the way it was to be.  I love him with everything inside of me.  I am so thankful that a little less than a year and half ago this amazing man walked into my life and made the world a better place to live in.

Tonight we had just amazing night like we use to on Friday night when he would work.  I went and met up with him at the shop.  We went out for a quick dinner on his lunch break.  We got to have some time together just us to like we use to.  Talking and laughing at each other which haven't been done in a long time.  But I am not counting my blessing to soon because all of this amazing stuff could change in a blink of an eye. 
Tomorrow we have Grandma Holbrooks funeral at 2.  So be praying for Jesse, Joy, Missy and all of his amazing family that I have fell in love with and felt apart of.  After the funeral we are heading to Atlanta to get his bumper measured for his bumper he is having made.  I am praying that everything will go just as amazing as it did tonight.  So I am going to turn the light out and head to bed have to be up at 6 in the morning.  Be saying a little prayer for us.
Love
Kenz<3

Sweet Little Memories

Winds blow against my window and I rolled over to hold him tight and I just had to keep reaching cause he wasn't there.  The past month has had so many ups and downs I can't believe that I have had to wake up with him not next to me.  Yea we are still together but I haven't gotten to sleep beside him in a month.  He has held me in my sleep for a month.  If I only knew that the last time we got to dream beside each other would have been our last for a long time I would have prayed that time would have stopped.  That the night on the floor would go on forever and would never come to an end.  I miss having him beside me.  I wish that I could open my eyes and this really bad dream would come to an end.  I feel like I have been suck in hell for a  month and there has been nothing to stop it.  I am so afraid of losing my best friend, my love, my soul, my everything.  I miss the way things were and I pray everyday and every hour of the day that goes by things would go back and heal itself.  I can't sleep at night and can't eat and feel like my world will soon come to an end if I lose him.  I truly can go through all these feelings again.  I have been here, done it, bought the ugly tshirt, and wore it out.  I am ready for my life to go back to the good and the way it was and things to heal.  I miss that way and I truly don't know how to get it back especially with everything going on around me.  I just want my life to be better and to be able to hold him once again.  I miss him and I love him more than anything right now.  God I pray that things will get better soon.  I can't lose my best friend over something like this.  I love him and need to be with him for the rest of my life.

Long Time...

I know it has been several months since I have last posted anything.  Just life has been so stressed lately.  I have been working about 60-72 hours a week first it was to save up money for Christmas then Valentine's day and Jesse's Birthday but now that Christmas is over the whole V-day and Birthday as been put aside since I have to buy my own car now.  Because the beautiful (but piece of crap) Xterra is gone :(... 
The Tuesday after Christmas I had a MAJOR wreck and totaled the car.  Both airbags had came out and the whole front end was gone.  So now I am stuck trying to find a good car that I can pay for right now.
Now on top of everything that is going on with that, my Aunt Mot has increasing gotten worst and has now been to a neurologist.  She is getting to were she cannot remember things and getting really bad.  I have cried and cried because with them wanting me to help, my nerves cant take it plus with me trying to work so much I have no clue when there will be any time.
I never thought that I would be facing all of this right at the beginning of a new year.  I was hoping for a fresh new start.  Yea right guess I can dream on...  Life has just been so crazy lately.
Plus I have been so stressed out with Jesse.  I sometimes just want to brake down and cry because I feel so afraid I will lose everything I have ever dreamed up.  I almost have to walk on eggshells around him.  I have to watch what I say when I say it and everything or he does something to me.  Plus I am so tired of the second shift crap.  Like right now we have things to do but he will not get out of bed.  Then on Sunday it is the same thing I just pray something will change for the better soon.  I truly don't know how much more I am strong enough to take.  I just pray that God will give me the strength to get me through all this.