Thanks for the little things...

Maybe it is true that things can turn around in a blink of an eye.  Maybe there is more hope that there ever could be right now.  Between Jesse and getting back a best friend (who by the way I am so sorry that I ever lose you in the first place) my life could be looking up really well.  Just the little things that God has been giving me lately has been amazing.  I am truly thankful to God for blessing me. 

Yesterday even though I was so tired from working two 12 hour shifts two days in a row, plus try to have time with Jesse and church on Sunday.  Jesse took care of me and put up with my ill attitude sometime.  Wish to me is amazing.

Like I have wrote just a few days ago Jess has been talking more and more about marriage and spending our life together.  I have never been more ready to spend the rest of my life with someone.  He is my best friend, my partner, my everything.  We are making choices together working together to have a better life together.  Now when we make choices about money, jobs, other things we are in it together.

Well I finally had to let my sweet baby kitten go.  I love her and wish she was here right now but I know I could not keep her any longer. My sweet little Roxie I love you!!!

Well I am taking Chan to school this morning so I guess I need to get out of my pj's and get ready.  I will hopefully post something soon...

Love Yall Have a Great Day

Ken <3

The Day After

Well it is the day after my 20th birthday and let me tell you the only good part was this morning with Jesse and how wonderful he made me feel.  I feel like I was the only girl in the world.  I truly finally felt like a princess.  But suck part was I work 7pm to 7 am Friday night and ON MY BIRTHDAY.  Which is where I am at right now sitting here eating some dinner and working.  Tonight and last night I was the only CNA on the floor and I am running wide open.  I truly think that 7 south has become 8 south.  But tomorrow I get off and then it is back to work on Monday working first shift. I am super excited that I am getting some more hours at work which I need so that way Jesse and I can be better in the money department.  I am so excited and praying like every minute because Jess finally got a call from St. Jude where his mama works for a interview. He goes Tuesday at 11:45 so everyone say alittle pray for that.  He was talking today especially that if he gets the job he will be making more money and have his truck paid off and then I will get a ring shortly after that.  OH MY GOD yes he said that.  I truly cannot wait.  He was talking about how he can't wait for me to be his wife and us to have our house together, pretty much other lives together.  I truly believe things are turning around. 
Jesse found some old writing, thoughts about the old time and how depressed and crushed I was.  But he told me he was not worried about it because he was the one who would have me for the rest of my life and be all that I need.  See things are truly looking up and getting so much better. I am truly glad.  I love him so much and cannot wait to be Mrs. Jesse Matthew Hester.
Well it is time to get back to work (FUN FUN) but hopefully I can do some more writing soon.
Kenz <3

Really Now

Why can't things always be like in the fairy tales.  I mean do people really have to hurt all the time.  Things just seem to be good from the outside or you try and tell yourself that over and over again.  When you love something so much you want everything to be perfect.  You want it to be that love that you have always dreamed of.  Everyday with Jesse lately has become a guessing game on how things are going to be that day.  I keep praying everyday that the guessing with stop that maybe we can get back to the love that was perfect and happy.  To stop the fighting and fussing, the you are getting on my nerves stuff.  He is the most amazing thing that has ever walked into my life.  He is my best friend and I love him more than life itself.  I am just praying that some good with really end up happening SOON.  I don't know how to trust I know that and I need the support in knowing that I can trust him that he will never leave me never do anything wrong.  I know we have been together almost 6 months now, but come on look at my past relationships this is when it falls fishy when everything starts to fall apart and what is there for me to do.  I am scared of losing the one person that I love and care about.  I am scared of becoming the person that I have been so many times before and I truly don't want anything like that to happen to me.
I miss Jesse more than anything in the world when he is not with me, but sometimes I really wish it was better when he was with me I know that sounds so bad but it is true.  I see all the fairy tales and other people's relationship and I want that.  I want Jesse to want me, to tell me I look good, buy me flowers all the things boyfriend should do.  Sometimes I truly think I get treated worst then the dog does.  I want to be the one of gets loved on when he comes home.  I truly know this sounds bad too but He walks pass me and tells his mama hi with a hug and a kiss and I love you and I don't get anything.  COME ON NOW!!!!

Springtime Love

If I could have dreamed thing up like they are right now I would have never in a million years.  The past few days the weather has been amazing and I have really gotten to get back into wearing my spring and summer clothes.  I just really need to get some of the weight that I have seem to find off.  Everyone is just scared I am going to try to do that the wrong way again by taking my pump off and not taking care of my diabetes.  

You know that is what got me left alone and completely broken down just short of a year ago.  Where I lost everything that I thought I needed at the time. But know I truly know that if I do act stupid and do something stupid like that I will lose the best thing ever and the only thing that has truly made everything ok the past few months.  I am just really worried.

This weekend hopefully with be a great weekend to just have some fun around town and spend time with the love of my life. I have to go print off some pics from Easter Sunday, and maybe I can talk Jess into going and taking pics with me at Clemson either this weekend or next weekend.  So then I can fill up my big frame that I have with pics of us.  I have tons of pics already but I still want more lol.

I am definitely going to need a new computer charger before long.  Mine is not wanting to stay in so the computer is not wanting to charge right....GRRR it is so hard to work like that.  Plus I have to have a new phone charger because I broke mine awhile back and I have been charging it off the computer but since the computer is screwing up I really needed something new so I brought a cheap one off EBay and then the other day it broke.  SO I have got to have all that but if anyone knows where to get a computer charger for a HP laptop then let me know....

Well I am going to watch some more Grey's Anatomy and then head off to bed

Ken<3

 My sexy man driving to my mama's after church on Easter Sunday

Us on Easter Sunday!!!

WOW over a month

OK yes I have fell behind on the blogging.  Just my life has been in fast forward lately.  Between my new job at the hospital and trying to keep up with the school work plus find the time to spend with Jesse has been so stressful.  But right now it is working some what ok.  Just trying to put my life to is hard cause I have so much right now especially with school. I just look at it this way just one more month left.  But the sad thing is because of money I am going to have to push back when I am finishing.  Which sucks!!! Hopefully thing with just move fast.

Oh my God my new job is amazing.  I love it.  The job is at AnMed on the seventh floor in the Neuro ICU.  I cannot begin to say how much I love my job.  Even though there are days when I don't get to see Jesse, I am just thankful to have this job so hopefully we can become a family soon.

School is pretty much kicking my butt.  But the good thing is that I have time to do some studying and homework at work and that is the best thing ever.  Ok yes my grades are no longers A's but they are still ok.  I just wish and hope everything turns out A.Ok.

Jesse and I have been falling more and more in love over the past few weeks.  Our life together has been growing strong.  Yes, we have our days that we have to pray that we get through but I swear everything works itself out.  We have both been talking more and more about getting married and I really hope that it is going to happen sooner that later.  We are pushing more and more to make sure our love stays strong.  I just pray everyday that our lives together with be strong and work through thick and thin.  Jesse has been there for me during this time of getting a custom to everything that is going on in my life (in our lives) and I am truly greatful for all of that.

Life is fall right so far.  I am truly just waiting on some to mess up.  Because when I think everything is going good something falls to peices.

Well this week is a pretty relaxing week because of my work schedule.  I work my first shifts on 3rd and I fell in love with it.  That was on Sunday night and Monday night.  Then I got to be off yesterday and today plus tomorrow and Friday.  Then back to work on Saturday morning and Sunday morning.  It worked out amazingly because I get to spend time with Jess everyday. 

Well I am going to close this long catch up blog.  Hopefully I will have time to do some blogging soon than a month again.

Kenz<3