Saturday, December 19, 2009
Everything look so Good
Even though I can't sleep tonight it is not from unhappy feelings. I just miss him. I want to be able to lay down beside him every night and not have to wake up until the morning. I want to be able to steal the covers from someone again and I want that someone to be him. I am so happy and my life is looking so good. I am just so scared that I am going to do or say something to mess all this amazing things that is going on up. I know that I should not worry but I do. I don't want to lose this amazing thing that I have with Jesse and I want everything to be good.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
A Lifetime of Happy That I Finally Found
I always thought that I would never be better. That my heart would never be able to feel the feelings that I want to feel. I never thought I that would get to be happy again or for once. I have finally opened my eyes to something that is new and amazing that has never felt so real. I finally found someone that LOVES me. That wants what is best for me. Jesse Matthew Hester is my everything. He has truly became the person that I thought never would be in my life. After all the things that has happened in the past year I never thought that life would be this good for me. Jesse has brighten the future that is laying in front of me. The future that God has already written. The past month has been the best month I have ever seen. God has blessed my life so much that it blows me away. For once I don't look at life as a trouble that I have to walk alone in this life. I have learned that He is there every step of the way even when it does not look that way.
God is in the middle of writing the most beautiful love story for the ages. The kind that only God can make happen. He has put his hand in the center of Jesse and my relationship. I pray everyday that I can be the woman of God that is to be in Jesse's life. That I can be the strong woman for him. I know that only God can do and bless me with all the strength that I need to make all that happen. I thank God everyday for putting Jesse in my life. It is like He knew when I would need to bring him into my life even if I had to wait for a little while to get him.
Jesse,
I know that you read this because you have told me, so I thought this would be one way for me to tell you how I feel, without me breaking down into tears when I try to tell you in person.
Jesse, you have been an absolute gift from God to me. I could have never asked for anything more to be in my life. Everyday that I am with you I fall deeper and deeper into love with you. I have never understood why relationship after relationship did not work until now. I now know why because God was going to bring you into my life, it just had to be on His time. Jesse, you are the love of my life and I never thought I would be able to say that to the right person. But Jesse I truly feel that our love story is written by God for us. That He has made our love one of his great stories that only God could make or come up with. For so long I have prayed that my prince charming would ride in a sweep me off my feet. Jesse you have done so much more. You are my love. I really don't know why I ever thought that I wanted things that have been in my life for the past few years when I see now how I am to be loved. I know that the future for us can only get better. When it is You and Me for the rest of our lives. I really love you and I thank God everyday for you. I want to be the one that you lay down beside everyday of your life. I want to be the one for you. I love you so much Jesse Matthew Hester. I know that our life together is only getting better because God is the author of our amazing mind blowing love story. Wish it will be ten times better than anything ever written here on earth. I Love You with all my heart and soul.
Thousand Hugs and Billions of Kisses Love You Bunches <3
The first time I looked in your eyes I knew That I would do anything for you The first time you touched my face I felt Like I've never felt with anyone else
I wana give back what you've givin' to me And I wanna witness all of your dreams Now that you've shown me who I really am I wanna be more then just your man
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails And be the hand that lifts your veil And be the moon that moves your tide The sun coming up in your eyes Be the wheels that never rust And be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more, I wanna be your everything...
When you wake up, I'll be the first thing you see And when it gets dark you can reach out for me I'll cherish your words and I'll finish your thoughts And I'll be your compass baby, when you get lost
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails And be the hand that lifts your veil And be the moon that moves your tide The sun coming up in your eyes Be the wheels that never rust And be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more, I wanna be your everything...
Be the wheels that never rust And be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more, I wanna be your everything... I wanna be your everything
God is in the middle of writing the most beautiful love story for the ages. The kind that only God can make happen. He has put his hand in the center of Jesse and my relationship. I pray everyday that I can be the woman of God that is to be in Jesse's life. That I can be the strong woman for him. I know that only God can do and bless me with all the strength that I need to make all that happen. I thank God everyday for putting Jesse in my life. It is like He knew when I would need to bring him into my life even if I had to wait for a little while to get him.
Jesse,
I know that you read this because you have told me, so I thought this would be one way for me to tell you how I feel, without me breaking down into tears when I try to tell you in person.
Jesse, you have been an absolute gift from God to me. I could have never asked for anything more to be in my life. Everyday that I am with you I fall deeper and deeper into love with you. I have never understood why relationship after relationship did not work until now. I now know why because God was going to bring you into my life, it just had to be on His time. Jesse, you are the love of my life and I never thought I would be able to say that to the right person. But Jesse I truly feel that our love story is written by God for us. That He has made our love one of his great stories that only God could make or come up with. For so long I have prayed that my prince charming would ride in a sweep me off my feet. Jesse you have done so much more. You are my love. I really don't know why I ever thought that I wanted things that have been in my life for the past few years when I see now how I am to be loved. I know that the future for us can only get better. When it is You and Me for the rest of our lives. I really love you and I thank God everyday for you. I want to be the one that you lay down beside everyday of your life. I want to be the one for you. I love you so much Jesse Matthew Hester. I know that our life together is only getting better because God is the author of our amazing mind blowing love story. Wish it will be ten times better than anything ever written here on earth. I Love You with all my heart and soul.
Thousand Hugs and Billions of Kisses Love You Bunches <3
The first time I looked in your eyes I knew That I would do anything for you The first time you touched my face I felt Like I've never felt with anyone else
I wana give back what you've givin' to me And I wanna witness all of your dreams Now that you've shown me who I really am I wanna be more then just your man
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails And be the hand that lifts your veil And be the moon that moves your tide The sun coming up in your eyes Be the wheels that never rust And be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more, I wanna be your everything...
When you wake up, I'll be the first thing you see And when it gets dark you can reach out for me I'll cherish your words and I'll finish your thoughts And I'll be your compass baby, when you get lost
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails And be the hand that lifts your veil And be the moon that moves your tide The sun coming up in your eyes Be the wheels that never rust And be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more, I wanna be your everything...
Be the wheels that never rust And be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more, I wanna be your everything... I wanna be your everything
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
A Christmas Gift for God
Well Jesse is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is the angel that has dropped down from heaven and made everything right. God has truly blessed my life with him and I am so thankful for him.
I am so happy that he is in my life and everything is going good. I got signed back up for school and my diabetes is falling into line. And of course Jesse tells me he is proud of me. I am so lucky to have him. He is like my own Christmas Gift from God.
JESSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING
With all my love
Ken <3
I am so happy that he is in my life and everything is going good. I got signed back up for school and my diabetes is falling into line. And of course Jesse tells me he is proud of me. I am so lucky to have him. He is like my own Christmas Gift from God.
JESSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING
With all my love
Ken <3
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Maybe Another Sleepless Night...
So even if tonight is another sleepless night it will be ok because for the first time it is not a sleepless night because I am missing him. I haven't even done that. I have found what I was really looking for and I am thanking God for that everyday that he sends me with him. Jesse has became my best friend. He is my person I run to when the world seems so turned upside down. Without him I don't know what I would do.
He has become my everything. I wake up in the morning to his beautiful voice just letting me know that he is there in my life. I have never had anything like him before and I really don't know what to think. He has put the world at right. And he has shown me that I need God in my life. That I need to put him back number one in my life and everything else would fall back into place. The only thing he asked of me when we started dating was that I put God first then him second. I am so thankful that he opened my eyes to that because I really haven't seen that in a long time.
He wants to be there for me. He wants to be in my life and most importantly he wants to take care of me and my diabetes. He told me the other night that diabetes was not just mine to take care of it was ours to deal with. For me that is all I have ever asked for. Just having someone that wants to take on my diabetes is the one thing that I could ever ask for. I wish yes that I didn't have it and I didn't have to put this on someone else but for someone to be willing to take it on like Jesse has been is mind blowing. He also wants to grow old together and that is why he is so carefully taking care of my diabetes. He has changed the way I eat and also the way he eats. He says that if I cant\'t have it then why should he be able to have it. To hear someone say that makes me all teared up.
I could see myself with him for so long. I am just so scared that he is going to open his eyes and see all that he is taking on and run the other way or just stop caring like has happen to me so many times in the past.
It is scary to say but I have fell for him unlike anyone else before. I thank God everyday for that but I also pray everyday that everything will work for the greater of his will and not mine or Jesse's.
I am so ready for this weekend with him. Friday if he doesn't have to work after I get off we are going to Greenville to turn in my stuff for school for next year. (Yes I went back and signed up for Surgical Tech and wow is Jesse so proud and me and is he behind me 110% saying that I can do this) but anyway. Then we are going to spend the day together and then that night with are going with the youth from his church to go Midnight Bowling YAY!!! I love it. Then I am staying with the girls from the youth group cause his mom is staying and that way I don't have to drive all the way back to Anderson that night. Then Saturday we are getting ready and going with Chan to take pictures in Clemson together. Then after that I have no clue what we are doing and of course Sunday is church.
Just being with Jesse is mind blowing and I love every second of being with him. I never want it to end. I am just so happy right now and my life does not seem like it could get any better right now. Thanks to God and his hand on everything. I just pray that he will keep blessing our relationship like he has blessed it so far.
From a new found happiness
With all the love and happiness
Ken <3
He has become my everything. I wake up in the morning to his beautiful voice just letting me know that he is there in my life. I have never had anything like him before and I really don't know what to think. He has put the world at right. And he has shown me that I need God in my life. That I need to put him back number one in my life and everything else would fall back into place. The only thing he asked of me when we started dating was that I put God first then him second. I am so thankful that he opened my eyes to that because I really haven't seen that in a long time.
He wants to be there for me. He wants to be in my life and most importantly he wants to take care of me and my diabetes. He told me the other night that diabetes was not just mine to take care of it was ours to deal with. For me that is all I have ever asked for. Just having someone that wants to take on my diabetes is the one thing that I could ever ask for. I wish yes that I didn't have it and I didn't have to put this on someone else but for someone to be willing to take it on like Jesse has been is mind blowing. He also wants to grow old together and that is why he is so carefully taking care of my diabetes. He has changed the way I eat and also the way he eats. He says that if I cant\'t have it then why should he be able to have it. To hear someone say that makes me all teared up.
I could see myself with him for so long. I am just so scared that he is going to open his eyes and see all that he is taking on and run the other way or just stop caring like has happen to me so many times in the past.
It is scary to say but I have fell for him unlike anyone else before. I thank God everyday for that but I also pray everyday that everything will work for the greater of his will and not mine or Jesse's.
I am so ready for this weekend with him. Friday if he doesn't have to work after I get off we are going to Greenville to turn in my stuff for school for next year. (Yes I went back and signed up for Surgical Tech and wow is Jesse so proud and me and is he behind me 110% saying that I can do this) but anyway. Then we are going to spend the day together and then that night with are going with the youth from his church to go Midnight Bowling YAY!!! I love it. Then I am staying with the girls from the youth group cause his mom is staying and that way I don't have to drive all the way back to Anderson that night. Then Saturday we are getting ready and going with Chan to take pictures in Clemson together. Then after that I have no clue what we are doing and of course Sunday is church.
Just being with Jesse is mind blowing and I love every second of being with him. I never want it to end. I am just so happy right now and my life does not seem like it could get any better right now. Thanks to God and his hand on everything. I just pray that he will keep blessing our relationship like he has blessed it so far.
From a new found happiness
With all the love and happiness
Ken <3
Friday, December 4, 2009
God is Good All The Time
December is here the month of some many memories but for once I know that even though those are memories I am opening a new chapter that God has wrote in the book of my beautiful love story. Jesse is so amazing willing to take care of me. Show me the way to be. Jesse has opened me back up to my roots to the roots I ran so far from. God is the only way to go and I am so thankful that God has placed an amazing guy in front of me. He is so amazing God is amazing
Monday, November 30, 2009
Just a Rainy Day at work
Well guys I am pretty much bored as all get out at work today and I am thinking about Jesse. He is so amazing and I cant wait for Wednesday to get here so I can see him again. I got to talk to him at lunch and cant wait till he gets off work so I can hear his voice again. He is the about the best thing that has happened to me in monthes now and I am so thankful that I did. Just being with him makes the world seem right. Even if I am still scared because I am scared of getting hurt again. But I really dont think that he would hurt me. He tells me that I am perfect even with all the things that has happened and the things I have wrong with me. I cant believe this guy.
This weekend was the most amazing weekend I have had in a long time I just wished it was longer. Wednesday night I went with Jesse out and just hung out and had the best time, Thursday was Thanksgiving and I spent time with the family and that afternoon he come to the house and met some of my family and hung out over there all night, Friday was BLACK FRIDAY...Jesse got up and went hunting so I went shopping with my little sister Chandler and my adopt one Karlee. After that I went to Jesse's House and hung out over there. We watched a movie while he took a nap on the couch. Then Saturday was the Clemson Carolina Game (Jesse is a Gamecock fan but oh well maybe I can work on that) and we watched that game together. Sadly My Tigers lost but hey we are in Tampa next Saturday for the ACC Championship...GO TIGERS. Then he cooked us dinner which was amazing and He even washed dishes. He would not let me help with anything. After dinner we laid down on the couch and started watching a movie but we both fell asleep which was so sweet cause I got to sleep on his chest. Then yesterday Jesse come to Anderson and went to church at my church that morning. Went and ate some lunch then went to his house Took the most amazing nap ever together. Then got up and went to church at his church had some dinner after and then I went home so we could both get up for work.
But now I am missing him like crazy I wish that I could see him but I dont get to till Wednesday cause of work and GAS but it is all good cause when I see him it will be great. My Life is finally looking up and I am so thankful for that.
Ken <3
This weekend was the most amazing weekend I have had in a long time I just wished it was longer. Wednesday night I went with Jesse out and just hung out and had the best time, Thursday was Thanksgiving and I spent time with the family and that afternoon he come to the house and met some of my family and hung out over there all night, Friday was BLACK FRIDAY...Jesse got up and went hunting so I went shopping with my little sister Chandler and my adopt one Karlee. After that I went to Jesse's House and hung out over there. We watched a movie while he took a nap on the couch. Then Saturday was the Clemson Carolina Game (Jesse is a Gamecock fan but oh well maybe I can work on that) and we watched that game together. Sadly My Tigers lost but hey we are in Tampa next Saturday for the ACC Championship...GO TIGERS. Then he cooked us dinner which was amazing and He even washed dishes. He would not let me help with anything. After dinner we laid down on the couch and started watching a movie but we both fell asleep which was so sweet cause I got to sleep on his chest. Then yesterday Jesse come to Anderson and went to church at my church that morning. Went and ate some lunch then went to his house Took the most amazing nap ever together. Then got up and went to church at his church had some dinner after and then I went home so we could both get up for work.
But now I am missing him like crazy I wish that I could see him but I dont get to till Wednesday cause of work and GAS but it is all good cause when I see him it will be great. My Life is finally looking up and I am so thankful for that.
Ken <3
Long Time Coming
I will have to say it has been a long time coming for me to feel again. For me to feel like there is something out there for me. It is like someone has went and found the light switch and flipped it back to on. You know I would have never in a million years dreamed that it would happen this way that one night could change it all but it did. Last week I got a txt from someone I never would have thought could give me somebody like this, but anyway I took the number and txt him. Come to find out that it is this really amazing guy. I am so thankful that he has came into me life. He is just what I needed. Like yesterday night he told me something that I had never heard from a guy in my life. He told me that he thinks that I am perfect in every way. I have no clue where this guy came from. The last thing I was looking for was for someone to come in a sweep me off my feet. I just I do own her a big thank you for giving me the number. I have had no clue that the butterflies could ever come back.
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