Hey Yall!!!

So I am so sorry that I haven't posted in so long.  I really truly don't know where this month has gone. I have truly been working like a mad dog at work and of course I am here again tonight. 

The work in the house is coming a long and hopefully by the end of next week things will be coming more to order that it is right now.  We still have the kitchen to paint and clean from top to bottom.  Plus the living room is in need of some major overhall and that is going to take a big part to do.  But with me working and starting back school at the end of August.  There is really no time or the funds to do all that I want to do right now. 

Things with Jess, have still been up in the air and I truly don't know how to act or do anymore.  The trying is getting harder everyday and when things to look like that are going to get a little better and I speak about it or even think about it for that matter it turns right around and goes south.  I truly don't have any idea or clue how to make anything better.  Every day is a new day and nothing is the same.

Ok back to a lighter better subject....

Summer is almost half way over and to be it feels like it never started.  I have truly been wanting to go on a vacation or a weekend trip or even just a little day trip.  But of course there is nothing to do in this little town.

This weekend is the Fourth of July. Truly have nothing planned and really don't know what I am going to do.  I want to spend the weekend with Jesse since both of us are off for the holiday weekend.

Hopefully time with not get away from me so much and I can post something soon...

Kenz

Try...

Try: To make an effort to do or accomplish (something); attempt.

Everyday someone out there is trying.  Trying to do something, to accomplish something.  We try everyday and get up in the mornings.  Usually we accomplish something in a day that we try to do. 
Well lately it is feeling like I am doing a whole lot of trying with a little accomplishment.  I am getting to the point where I am tired of it.  Tired of being the only one trying.  I don't know how much more I can try.  The push towards the goals is getting longer instead of shorter.  Everyday is becoming a battle of will.  A battle at being the one.  Is it getting close to waving the white flag and putting away all will to work to reach the goal.  When two people have come so far, has work so hard to fight to give love to each other.  Where do you draw the line at when there is only one person trying at it.  Where do you put your foot down and learn that trying is just becoming to much to handle anymore.  That you trying will never be good enough to win the battle.  Where does all of this stuff just stop and you say enough is enough. 

Loving: to have love or affection for.

We do this everyday.  Love.  A four letter word that makes the world goes around it seems like.  But love is sometimes never enough it seems like.  I wish with everything in me that love could just fix everything.  That loving someone would just be enough for once.  But it feels like it ain't.  That no matter how hard you try to love someone that your try is not enough.  That your feel and affection is not what they want.

Relationship: A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other

We have all kinds of relationships.  Friends, family, and once we have that relationship with the love of our lives we are hooked.  To have that relationship with that soul mate is everything.  But what if that relationship that we thought we had with that soul mate was falling apart.  What do you do then.  That relationship that you are fighting like hell to keep together, the one you are praying for every secon of everyday.  How to do stop that relationship from falling apart, from becoming something a thing of the past.  When all you want is the true future.

I am hoping for some answers to these questions.  To know that the trying and the fighting is not going to be for nothing.  That what we had that was so amazing just two years ago has not been lost forever.  To know that the love we had is right there and can be so amazing once more.

Kenz

Hot June!!!

Hey guys!!!  So I am sitting at work and starting thinking about how I haven't blogged anything in a while.  I thought I would try and catch up on everything that has been going on lately. 
The past two weeks have been crazy.  Two weekends ago my little cousin Jacob graduated from high school in Georgia.  It is truly hard to believe that he is even old enough to gratuate.  It seems like just yesterday he was little.  Of course I cried at graduation.  He was second in his class so he got to make his speech which was amazing!!!  That weekend we ended up staying in a hotel because Nise's was so busy.  Which we had a great time together!!! 
That Monday was Memorial Day and the first time Jesse was off with me in like a month it felt like.  Monday was a pretty chilled day we really didn't do anything special because it was so hot.
So the next week I pretty much worked my butt off like I normally do.  Until last Wednesday I ended up in the hospital in Greenville in ICU.  My blood sugar got so high and I went into DKA.  I spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in the hospital.  But I am feeling ten times better now.  My blood sugar is back down and getting under control!!!
This weekend was busy as well.  Jesse got the weekend off again which is surpising.  We spent the time together just relaxing and working on a new project.  This beautiful little chair for me.  That Jesse sanded down and redid it.  We still are not done but hopefully it will be done this coming weekend.

So now that I pretty much filled yall in on everything.  I am going to run back to work.  I will try and post something later.

Kenz <3