So even if tonight is another sleepless night it will be ok because for the first time it is not a sleepless night because I am missing him. I haven't even done that. I have found what I was really looking for and I am thanking God for that everyday that he sends me with him. Jesse has became my best friend. He is my person I run to when the world seems so turned upside down. Without him I don't know what I would do.
He has become my everything. I wake up in the morning to his beautiful voice just letting me know that he is there in my life. I have never had anything like him before and I really don't know what to think. He has put the world at right. And he has shown me that I need God in my life. That I need to put him back number one in my life and everything else would fall back into place. The only thing he asked of me when we started dating was that I put God first then him second. I am so thankful that he opened my eyes to that because I really haven't seen that in a long time.
He wants to be there for me. He wants to be in my life and most importantly he wants to take care of me and my diabetes. He told me the other night that diabetes was not just mine to take care of it was ours to deal with. For me that is all I have ever asked for. Just having someone that wants to take on my diabetes is the one thing that I could ever ask for. I wish yes that I didn't have it and I didn't have to put this on someone else but for someone to be willing to take it on like Jesse has been is mind blowing. He also wants to grow old together and that is why he is so carefully taking care of my diabetes. He has changed the way I eat and also the way he eats. He says that if I cant\'t have it then why should he be able to have it. To hear someone say that makes me all teared up.
I could see myself with him for so long. I am just so scared that he is going to open his eyes and see all that he is taking on and run the other way or just stop caring like has happen to me so many times in the past.
It is scary to say but I have fell for him unlike anyone else before. I thank God everyday for that but I also pray everyday that everything will work for the greater of his will and not mine or Jesse's.
I am so ready for this weekend with him. Friday if he doesn't have to work after I get off we are going to Greenville to turn in my stuff for school for next year. (Yes I went back and signed up for Surgical Tech and wow is Jesse so proud and me and is he behind me 110% saying that I can do this) but anyway. Then we are going to spend the day together and then that night with are going with the youth from his church to go Midnight Bowling YAY!!! I love it. Then I am staying with the girls from the youth group cause his mom is staying and that way I don't have to drive all the way back to Anderson that night. Then Saturday we are getting ready and going with Chan to take pictures in Clemson together. Then after that I have no clue what we are doing and of course Sunday is church.
Just being with Jesse is mind blowing and I love every second of being with him. I never want it to end. I am just so happy right now and my life does not seem like it could get any better right now. Thanks to God and his hand on everything. I just pray that he will keep blessing our relationship like he has blessed it so far.
From a new found happiness
With all the love and happiness
Ken <3
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