Why can't things always be like in the fairy tales. I mean do people really have to hurt all the time. Things just seem to be good from the outside or you try and tell yourself that over and over again. When you love something so much you want everything to be perfect. You want it to be that love that you have always dreamed of. Everyday with Jesse lately has become a guessing game on how things are going to be that day. I keep praying everyday that the guessing with stop that maybe we can get back to the love that was perfect and happy. To stop the fighting and fussing, the you are getting on my nerves stuff. He is the most amazing thing that has ever walked into my life. He is my best friend and I love him more than life itself. I am just praying that some good with really end up happening SOON. I don't know how to trust I know that and I need the support in knowing that I can trust him that he will never leave me never do anything wrong. I know we have been together almost 6 months now, but come on look at my past relationships this is when it falls fishy when everything starts to fall apart and what is there for me to do. I am scared of losing the one person that I love and care about. I am scared of becoming the person that I have been so many times before and I truly don't want anything like that to happen to me.
I miss Jesse more than anything in the world when he is not with me, but sometimes I really wish it was better when he was with me I know that sounds so bad but it is true. I see all the fairy tales and other people's relationship and I want that. I want Jesse to want me, to tell me I look good, buy me flowers all the things boyfriend should do. Sometimes I truly think I get treated worst then the dog does. I want to be the one of gets loved on when he comes home. I truly know this sounds bad too but He walks pass me and tells his mama hi with a hug and a kiss and I love you and I don't get anything. COME ON NOW!!!!
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